As you all know today is opening day, and unfortunately I won't have two tall boy Budweiser's and peanuts in my hand because I'm at work. In my eyes the MLB only last four weeks. I watch the first two weeks of season and the last two weeks of the playoffs. During the first two weeks I download tap baseball, ask my friends for their MLB at bat login, and tell myself "damn I shoulda played baseball, I'm a white kid from the suburbs and I'm slow, why the fuck did I choose football, fuck you dad". After those two weeks, my fling for baseball dies out, and I start to pass out by the bottom of the 4th inning.
But FUCK IT! Today is opening day so I'm going to pull picks out of my ass and be absolutely cracked sweating my balls off at work. Luckily for me, my boss loves the Yankees, so he'll be out of the office by 12:30 and pounding drinks at New York Steak House so I shouldn't have to worry about getting fired.
Picks for Today: